Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Life is Full of Mess

You may have noticed that I have been slacking in my internet presence a bit and that is due to that fact that summer is always a maddening time for me.  There seems to be a never ending amount of lists that dictate my life during the summer months. I've mentioned before how my life is on a nine month schedule because I am a part-type faculty member at a community college/stay-at-home-parent (where life is centered around your kid's school year).  I get long winter breaks and three moths off for summer vacation the perfect combo except that I cram those three months with enormous tasks.  I don't know what it is, perhaps my industrious Virgo roots, but I crave achievement.

My passion for education has led to me rejoining the school board of a local charter school.  When I interviewed, the members described it as full-time job without the pay, and for some reason I said, "I'm all in."  Nevermind that I am writing and publishing a trilogy or raising two kids and a dog.

Then I decided to teach a summer class, so all the things I had planned to accomplish over three months I would now only have one and half months to complete.  Did I mention that I am studying for my real estate exam because I love the law, and finding someone a  home? Also something about interest rates and the word easement just intrigues me.  This goes back to my obsession with education in all aspects.  If there's a way for me to learn something new, whether a skill, certification, fun fact, unique theory, I'm hooked.  

People think I am crazy and perhaps they are right, I just keep thinking about how when I was a teenager, how my friends and I would always joke about how we could sleep when we were dead, and that has somehow continued to be my mantra, even though I have two kids and dog and a husband and and and, but for some reason I'm still going.

But last week I hit a road block, there was a perfect storm of chaos, a trifecta of terrors that just slowed me down. Everything came at me at once and I was reminded that I'm human and that my mom and my best friend are oddly similar, and that my father and my husband are completely different with strange similarities that show themselves once in a blue moon, each time it throws me for a loop and reminds me that as full of madness as life sometimes is there are levels of familiarity in all of it that reveal a connection. And that I find comforting.  

Or maybe it's that we cling to the familiar.   Even someone like me, someone that declares themselves a 'jumper.' (Person that jumps first asks questions later, i.e. risk taker, sensation seeker) seeks what they know, their comfort level, when things get rocky.  It's always nice to be surrounded by people that know you, that have known you, to remind you of who you are, and what you're capable of.  Those things keep me grounded during times of extreme change, times of self-propulsion, when you're pushing yourself to your limits, testing your abilities.  Perhaps this isn't worthy of the title epiphany perhaps it's something that I just needed to say out-loud because being thankful for your family/friends/people always bears repeating.

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